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Other Records latest victim of top-secret military experiment.

Adelaide (Australia) based record label Other Records have fallen foul of a vicious cover-up by the British military. New evidence suggests that a top-secret experiment failed disastrously, leaving victims the world over.

When Surgery Records new sub-label Other Records signed British artist The Flow they had no idea of his origins. “We loved the album ‘One Thing’ and its dirty, chilled-out grooves, but we thought he was from London,” said label manager Ian Hamilton, “We had no way of knowing. It’s been a complete disaster for us.”

The British Ministry of Defence is suspected of having put ‘something in the water’ in the city of Bristol in the UK during the early 1970’s. The aim of the experiment is unknown, but the side effects are being felt to this day on radio stations, in clubs and records shops across the world.

Bristol is the home of Massive Attack, Tricky, Portishead, Ronnie Size, Smith and Mighty and a host of other trip-hop legends, all thought to have been affected by this experiment.

The Flow, aka Ben Constable lives in Paris in France and has only the vaguest memories of his early childhood in Bristol. “I didn’t think it would be a problem,” he said, “I’ve lived most of my life in Derby in the middle of England working as a music producer and being part of the thriving nineties club scene. I released a few tracks on Progress Records under the name ‘The Other Benjamin’ and worked with house legends like Farley ‘Jack-master’ Funk and Marshal Jefferson, but I never thought anything of it. The Flow was just a project to try and express my interest in dirty electronic music, funk and jazz. I never meant to hurt anyone!”

As well as Ben there are several other people on the album ‘One Thing’ including his sister Jessica Constable, also born in Bristol, who sings on several of the tracks. “I’m sure I can speak for everyone in our family in saying that we’re truly sorry about this album,” said Jessica, “I’ve sung on many projects on the avant-guard and jazz scenes in France and New York and quite frankly all of them are better than this.”

Michaela Cole who was just eleven when she recorded the vocals for the track ‘I’m Here’ by The Flow was not available for comment as she was doing her homework, but her father said, “None of us really blame Ben, he’s a nice guy and a great producer, but he got my daughter involved in this so, you know, he better not show his face around here again.”

Saxophonist Gary Reader had a similar attitude. “It’s not Ben’s fault, we should be pointing the finger at the British military not trying to make Ben a scapegoat.” Gary Reader is now undergoing treatment in a private clinic in Geneva but is not optimistic about his recovery.

Scratch DJ Mr tOE is not bitter however. “I guess we suspected there was something going on when we heard the demos,” said tOE who appears on several the tracks, “We made a mistake working on this project. I think what we have to do now is to join together and try and make sure that nobody ever hears this music.”

Not all involved in the project feel the same way. Vuyani, whose voice appears on the track ‘Cities and Memory 1’, said that he had never liked the project and wished that his track could be removed from the album. “I am just trying to rebuild my life and forget about this whole foul flow business.”

Other Records have made the World Health Organisation aware of the problem and are also petitioning the United Nations to put pressure on the British Government to admit responsibility and release the secret files detailing the experiment that will be crucial to finding an antidote.

Other Records have also engaged Tim Koch, an independent specialist in the field of brain science, to try and help resolve the problem. Koch has outlined a strategy for members of the public designed to limit the damage of the album:

  1. Avoid listening to this album at all costs.

  2. Should you go to Other Records website (www.surgeryrecords.com.au/other) try to avoid watching the video for the track ‘Control’.

  3. Don’t read any promotional material concerning the album.

  4. Don’t try and buy the album in shops or on the Surgery Website and don’t even enquire about it in record shops from the beginning of December 2006.

Koch goes on to add, “If you think you may have heard this music in a public place or seen the video, rinse your eyes and ears with warm water and consult a doctor as soon as possible.”

No lesser French music luminary than Laurent Garnier himself (FCommunications) has also been infected. He claims that since receiving an affected demo CD of The Flow album he hasn’t been able to stop listening to it in his office. So dramatic was the influence of the experiment that he felt compelled to include the track ‘Final’ from the album ‘One Thing’ on his FCommunications annual compilation CD ‘MegaSoft Office 2005’. Mr. Garnier was not available for comment but was over heard in a pub saying that he was deeply embarrassed by the situation.

A representative of the group Massive Attack said, “The Flow? No I’ve never heard of him. Are you sure he’s from Bristol?”. Surgery manager Ian Hamilton responded by saying that Massive Attack had probably been paid off by the British Government.

The Ministry of Defence of Her Majesty’s Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland declined to comment.

Source: OBBC World Service, November 2006.

For more information please contact:
Surgery Secret Service